What I learned while eating 14 meals alone

I recently had the rare experience of spending five days far away, by myself. I was a bit anxious going into my very first solo vacation at Lake Austin in Texas. What will I do without the usual chaos? Will I be bored? Lonely? Is it even possible for me to relax? I quickly found out how important it is to make the time for reflection and rest. My husband and I married not even five years ago. In that time, life has been in fast-forward. We've had two children (two c-sections), moved houses twice, sold a business, lost one appendix, grown our companies fast and furious, and had a whole lot of fun along the way. Since it's disruptive to our kids for us to be away at the same time, we decided to each do something this year away that would rejuvenate us as individuals. Chris chose a kiteboarding trip for adventure and I chose Lake Austin for a time out. It was glorious! Here's what I learned:

Technology is an enemy.

Simply put, I don't like what the phone is doing to me and my relationships. I am a zombie in front of that thing. I am taking time away from actually connecting with people. What if I used my cell phone as a car phone? What if I wore a regular old watch, used my computer Apple Messenger to get texts during the day, stopped worrying about Facebook and just got more old fashioned about this whole concept of communication? I learned I don't enjoy being tethered. I spent time in Lake Austin thinking about what I look like from my children's vantage point. If you have children I encourage you to visualize what that looks like to have your head lowered as you stare at a glowing rectangle. It's haunting. I've been communicating to my precious kiddos that the phone is more important than they are. Then, in the process of "checking in" with my phone, something pops up that is disruptive or upsetting. But 75 percent of what I stop being present for is usually the equivalent of junk mail. What if I treated my inbox like my mailbox? Once a day. What if we got a home phone to allow for communication in urgent situations? I have control over this.

Time is plentiful when you are present.

The days felt longer in a good way by being fully present. I was only on my phone to FaceTime with my family and as a result, I was more connected with every activity and interaction I had. There are 168 hours in each week. Why can't I exercise four hours every week? Why can't I schedule the time to continue this kind of lifestyle by prioritizing meditation, yoga, and reading after family time? Instead, they have always felt like luxuries that I can't "indulge" in regularly. Why not?

Part of taking good care is getting good care.

I learned I need to listen to my body more intently and fuel properly. I've had a lot of illnesses the last few years, in part because of sinus problems and in part because I haven't been taking good care of myself. I am committed to getting the right care team to get to the bottom of my reoccurring sinus/respiratory issues that knock me down consistently. In Lake Austin, I slept an average of 11 hours each night. Is that what my body needs regularly? If so, what do I do to take good care and still get life done?

My experience eating clean for those 14 meals and noticing how differently I felt inspired me to take a closer look at what we are feeding our family. I have made and stuck with simple changes so far: limiting my caffeine (and modifying what I put in my coffee), switching from sugary yogurt and Starbucks in the morning to oatmeal, and auditing the regular grocery list, pantry and snack bin that is available to the kids. These are simple changes that mean taking good care.

Single-tasking is where it's at.

On this trip, the only "multitasking" I did was reading books on my Kindle while eating. I was focused on the activity at hand and enjoying the journey. As I've come back to home and work life, I've tried to take that idea with me, as simple as it sounds. I've turned off email alerts and taken away distractions. We're getting a home phone installed. I downloaded the Kindle app on my phone so I can read while I have a few minutes of downtime. I never put the Facebook or Instagram apps back on my phone since the trip. I've started leaving my phone at my desk while I'm in meetings so I can be focused (because I'm really not that important that I should be rude to the person sitting in front of me). I've realized the important people in my life do know how to get in touch with me if and when they really need to.

I had a lot of answers (excuses) for why I let some of these things dominate my life. During my time away, I made the time to question all of my answers and come up with ways around them. My biggest lesson was about realizing I fully have control over all of this. All of it.